There is a very important wedding this coming Saturday at 2:00 p.m. when our Minister to Students, Andy Byers, and Joni Loudat are married right here in this worship hall. (Invitation is in the bulletin)
Aren’t weddings wonderful? I especially like them when I can just sit back and watch and enjoy. Luaine and I attended a wedding that had 25 bridesmaids and groomsmen. They looked like a large choir behind the couple.
The groom was supposed to unroll down the aisle a satin runner for the bride to walk on. But it became stuck, so he left it there. A man in the audience then kicked it with his foot all the way down the aisle. The bride also had a 25-foot train. It was still coming after she stopped in front of the preacher. I loved that wedding.
Did you know that the image of marriage is used frequently in Scripture? A marriage was the single greatest celebration and social event of the biblical world.
Holy Scriptures also uses the familiar imagery of a wedding to picture the Lord’s relationship with His church. The Church is the bride promised for all eternity to Christ, the holy Groom.
Paul wrote about the Bride’s presentation to the Groom in Ephesians 5:25 – 27, 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
The Church will be presented to Christ at the Rapture, when He comes again to call us to Himself. Now is the preparation time both for us and for Christ as He prepares our heavenly home. The Apostle John wrote about that glorious time in Rev. 19.
Revelation 19:7-9 says, Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. 8Fine linen, bright and clean was given her to wear. (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.) 9Then the angel said to me, “Write: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!”
As I thought about Andy and Joni’s coming wedding it triggered some thoughts in my mind comparing marriage with a believer coming to Christ. Our salvation, too, is a marriage. Just as we say “I do” at a wedding, we say “I do” to God when Jesus becomes our Savior.
When you get married, suddenly you’re not single any more—your personal situation changes. And your thinking changes. As a single you are self-centered. Not necessarily in a bad way. After all when you are single you are the only you you have to think about.
But in marriage we must stop being self-centered and become “other-centered.” You’ve got to start thinking about somebody else. In fact, it is essential if your marriage is to survive. The happiness and fulfillment of your mate should become the center of your interests and of your intentions.
When I counsel young couples before their wedding I emphasize that there is no such thing as 50-50 in marriage—I’ll give 50% and you give 50% and we’ll meet somewhere in the middle. It won’t work! You’ve got to be willing to give 110% of yourself to your wife or your husband.
This is how our relationship with Christ must be. God gave us all His love through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. When we give ourselves to Him, His love becomes the center of our existence, and there is a radical change in our thinking and who we want to please.
Becoming a Christian requires a total giving of ourselves in commitment to God. God’s love becomes the reference point for every decision we make. God’s Word becomes the criteria for living our lives.
Think about it—when you get married you are no longer a single, you are a couple, a family. When we become a Christian we are no longer lost, we’re saved, a Child of God, a member of God’s family.
This change is so fundamental and far reaching that the Bible describes it as being “born again” (Jn. 3:3, 5), and that we are a “new creation” (2 Cor. 5:17).
We don’t accidentally get married. And we don’t accidentally become a Christian. It’s a matter of feelings and thoughts. You may be ga-ga over him, and you may worship the ground she walks on and be very much in love, but you still must use your mind to make a permanent commitment to the one you are marrying.
It is up to us to make the decision about whom we marry. It is up to us to carry through with that decision. A real marriage as God intends marriage must be voluntary. It must be a giving of yourself to the other person. There must be trust and commitment between the two of you.
In the same way we have to decide to give ourselves to Jesus Christ. Not one of us can all of a sudden discover that we have unwittingly or unintentionally become a Christian.
We commit ourselves to Him and trust Him with our lives. I’ve heard of shotgun weddings. Those are not real marriages. In the same way we cannot be forced to become a Christian.
It must be a personal, life-changing decision. And, you know what? Because becoming a Christian requires a deliberate decision, you don’t ever have to doubt whether or not you are a Christian any more than a person questions whether or not they are married.
What causes us to want to get married? First there has to be attraction: “She’s gorgeous,” “He’s handsome.” “He’s fun to be with.” “She’s intelligent.” This in itself doesn’t lead to marriage—there are a lot of attractive, fun and smart people. But it’s the first step. More evidence is required.
So you get to know each other better. You learn about inner attitudes and values. You pay attention to the reactions of others, like your friends, parents, brothers and sisters, maybe your pastor. [When Luaine and my wedding was announced in the paper, some thought she was engaged to my cousin who had the same name as me, but was a no-good.]
Finally the evidence leads to the conviction that this person is right for you; that life with this person will increase the meaning and creativity of your own life. Then a marriage proposal and wedding follows.
Not everything counts as relevant evidence. Feelings are important, but too often we give so much weight to our emotions, that we end up making a mistake. Marriage requires and deserves the clearest, sharpest, and most disciplined thinking of which we are capable. It is a decision that is going to affect the rest of your life.
Likewise, becoming a Christian should entail our clearest, sharpest and most disciplined thinking. You should let the evidence convince you; you should understand what a Christian is and what it means to be a Christian.
Let me be very clear. Even when the evidence is overwhelming, you are never forced to get married, and you are never forced to become a Christian. To get married, to become a Christian is a personal decision.
When we marry the one we love, the one we want to spend the rest of our life with, you do everything you can to please him or her. You don’t then go around trying to undermine your husband or wife.
A loving wife doesn’t sprinkle arsenic on her husband’s cereal, or tell lies about him or gossip to friends about his short comings. And a loving husband doesn’t undermine his wife’s self-respect, or emotionally destroy her, or run around on her, or insist on his own rights.
A good marriage is “give and give some more.” You care more about the happiness of your mate than your own. You’re going to live the rest of your life in close relationship with him or her. You choice of clothes, your selection of leisure activities, even the trivial things in a loving relationship all reflect and adjust to the interests of your husband or wife.
In your Christianity, you are in love with your Lord and Savior. You want to reflect His love. You care about what you do, about what you say, and about where you go. You don’t do this to make God love you more—He already loves you ultimately—you do it because you love Him.
The wedding ceremony is one of the most special times in a couple’s lives. Baptism is a special moment for a Christian. Did you know that legally, to be married, all a couple needs are the right signatures on their marriage license? The big, elaborate ceremony, or even a small one, is not required or necessary to become husband and wife.
In the same way, the waters of the baptistery do not save you. Your salvation comes with an open and changed heart that has been given to God through faith in Jesus Christ.
But these special ceremonies provide affirmation and confirmation. The couple getting married, and the one being baptized are showing by their actions the importance and commitments of their decisions.
And the ceremonies allow other people to share in the meaning of the decision. And this is very important? Why? Because other people have a stake in our lives.
When you get married your friends and family all have a deep interest. They care about what is happening in your life. They want your marriage to succeed. Marriage is not a private affair.
And becoming a Christian is not and cannot be a private affair. Your Christian family and friends, and your church family are very interested in you living a good Christian life.
Those sitting in the audience at the wedding, and at a baptism, are reminded of their own vows. They may even silently renew them. Happy are those invited to the wedding supper. We’re happy because something profound is going on that from that moment on changes everything.
Becoming a Christian, like getting married, marks the beginning of an ongoing and ever-deepening and developing relationship. As time goes on you grow closer and closer together, and your thoughts become more and more as one. It is a beautiful thing.
The difference between marriage and becoming a Christian is significant. Every once in a while you hear someone express regret about getting married. They may even carry that so far as to get a divorce.
One thing you will never, ever hear a genuine Christian say is that they regret becoming a Christian. Sometime you might hear someone say they gave up their faith or renounced their Christianity. Well, they were never really saved to begin with.
The significant difference is that a genuine Christian cannot get a divorce from Christ. Once you marry into His family, you are in His family for good.
The Bible pictures the relationship of a husband and wife with that of Christ and the Church. The Church is not a man-made structure; the Church is every believer everywhere. As Christ’s Church we are on a journey of preparation for our eternal home. Are you prepared for eternity with Christ? Congratulations Andy and Joni.